By Danielle Dyann Abril
I have been a user of Natural Family Planning (NFP) for over 15 years now. It is honestly hard to believe that it has been that long! I, like the majority of Catholics, learned NFP while I was preparing for marriage. And I, like the majority of Catholics, was not sure what role NFP would play in my life. Over the last decade and a half, I have used NFP to help diagnose and treat medical conditions, deal with primary and secondary infertility, achieve pregnancies, and avoid pregnancy. I will be the first to admit the journey has had its struggles, but to say it has been a blessing in my life would be an understatement.
But let’s go back to the beginning…why did I choose to use NFP at all? To put it in the simplest terms, I did so because the Church told me to do so. At the time, I thought that the Church encouraged NFP because it was “natural” versus “artificial”. However, in discussing this theory with my fiancé (now husband), he challenged my thinking. I was lucky enough to be taking a morality class and had the opportunity to write a paper which allowed me to delve into the Church teaching on NFP. What I found was truly beautiful and changed my thinking forever.
What I discovered was that NFP is not a rejection of anything but rather a radical embrace. It is an embrace of freedom – freedom to be truly who we are called to be, freedom to love, freedom from fear. I learned that the Church calls us to fully trust our fertility into the hands of its Creator so that He can guide us. The prospect of that feels terrifying. How will He lead? But, in my experience, it is actually liberating. Once we realize that He has built into our bodies a beautiful plan to know, appreciate, and guide our childbearing, the fear dissipates. By learning to cooperate with our bodies, and our Creator, we can have a reliable plan that works for our lives while not rejecting the truth of who we were created to be.
I look at it a little bit like choosing to actually use an instruction manual. Imagine for a moment that you have just purchased a new curling iron. You are very excited to use the curling iron, BUT you have discovered that there are no instructions. Without the help of that handy booklet, you (wrongly) guess that the cord is a mistake, ignore it, and proceed to wrap your hair around the barrel hoping that you will get a bit of a curl. It kind of works, but it’s not great. Now, a friend comes over and tells you she has just found this amazing instruction manual that tells you if you plug in the curling iron, and click on a button, it will heat up and curl your hair better than you could ever have imagined. The instruction manual makes all the difference.
NFP is that instruction manual. It will work WITH you to achieve your goals.
So, my response to #whyIusenfp is simple. I use NFP first and foremost because it is the best way I can work in cooperation with my Creator to achieve my goals for family life all the while appreciating the fertility I have been given and living freely and authentically. Of course, this is only one TINY aspect of my #WHY so stay tuned…
Danielle Dyann Abril is the mother of many children through adoption, foster care, and biological motherhood. She home-schools her crew and in her spare time works with the Archdiocese of St. Louis Office of Natural Family Planning to share the good news about NFP with the world.