Maddie and Joey’s road to parenthood has been defined by trust in God’s plan for their family. They were surprised when they became pregnant sooner than expected with their first son, Henry, and then equally surprised when they wanted to continue to grow their family and faced secondary infertility. They suffered heartbreaking loss through miscarriage and stillbirth, many rounds of testing, and no answers. “God had set us up to welcome more children, so why isn’t this happening?” they asked. Their doctor had recommended taking a break from trying to conceive, but they still felt they were ready for a baby. They had talked about an openness to adoption when they were dating, and felt that maybe this was the time to prayerfully consider it.
The Call to Adoption
Neither wanted to push the other into such a big decision, so Maddie and Joey each did their own research and discernment, and then came together united in God’s call to pursue adoption. They began to build an invaluable support network of friends who had gone through the process and adoption consultants who were trustworthy, experienced, and faith-based.
It seemed as if the process would move quickly when they were matched with a birth mother shortly after their home study approval. They were devastated when they had traveled out of state to meet the baby shortly after birth, only to learn that the placement would not go through. It felt like another huge loss after trusting that they were following God’s will. In addition to the emotional heartbreak, the money they had spent on travel and supporting the birth mother’s needs was not refundable, making them question if they could afford another placement.
“If God is bringing this to us, he will walk us through it. If we want to adopt, we have to say yes and keep trying.”
They decided to pause pursuing a placement while they recovered and enjoyed the holidays with Henry. In January, the agency presented them with another potential match. While Maddie felt nervous to open up to another heartbreak, Joey said, “if God is bringing this to us, he will walk us through it. If we want to adopt, we have to say yes and keep trying.” This time, they felt more at peace with the process. A few months later, their son Charlie was born. While the placement was successful this time, they faced another unexpected hurdle when Charlie had to spend additional time in the hospital out of state. The extended days of travel and medical expenses were yet another unplanned financial commitment, in addition to the stress of seeing him in the hospital and not knowing when he would come home. Three weeks later, they were finally all home as a family. Henry adores his baby brother, calling him “my Charlie,” and the boys are growing up in a close-knit extended family and parish community.
How the Archbishop Robert J. Carlson Adoption Grant Impacted Their Family
Maddie and Joey learned about the ARJC grant when someone spoke about it at their parish and distributed flyers. Because the adoption process presents families with so many logistical and financial challenges, Maddie shared that the ARJC grant helped their family “to feel supported by a local organization. We kept our adoption journey private, so it was nice to have local support, and now we can continue to support it to help other local people.” Their family and friends now purchase raffle tickets and support the ARJC grant fundraisers. The application process was easy and straightforward. When they learned they would receive the grant, they felt in awe of the generosity of the grant’s supporters, sharing, “it helped us breathe a sigh of relief. It felt like God was telling us, ‘keep going and I will help you.’”
What They Want Others to Know
Having learned more about the resources available from the Office of Natural Family Planning through this process, Maddie said she wished she’d known more about it sooner. She said she now knows that NFP is not what people might expect, and how the staff offers resources to couples beyond their engagement and newlywed years.
Maddie and Joey also want to encourage more awareness about adoption. While people are aware that there are expenses involved, they may not realize that the additional costs of travel, unexpected medical care, and nonrefundable fees from failed placements can significantly impact families. Financial support like the Archbishop Robert J. Carlson Adoption Grant “helps alleviate financial stress when you should just be concerned about the child,” said Maddie. “People don’t like to talk about the cost, but it’s real. If we want to see more adoption happen, then we have to support the financial aspect as well.”
Thank you Maddie and Joey for sharing your story! We always love hearing how God blesses families through the Archbishop Robert J. Carlson Adoption Grant. Please click here for more information about the adoption grant and to learn how to donate. The Archbishop Robert J. Carlson Adoption Grant is funded entirely by private donations and fundraising efforts. The more we raise, the more we can give to deserving families! Please consider donating or hosting a fundraising event at your parish to support the fund.